PARK CITY DEFEATS OM IN UTAH OPEN CUP FINAL AND PARTIES HARD

Park City, UT. Oct. 29. —Upon winning the Utah Open Cup in penalty kicks after double overtime and a 2-2 score, A few Park City players emptied their closets and drawers, dressed in their favorite gay parade attires and let it all hang out.

Beating OM, even in PKs, is a big accomplishment worth memorializing. Park City players captured photos of themselves in blonde wigs, bare butt prosthetics with battery operated tails, strapped on toys with springs, cute boy sunglasses and lipsticks. They texted them to OM manager Bel-Ami de Montreux to show how champions should party.

 

Sodom and Gomorrah resurrected in Summit County!

A blonde-wigged mustachioed Park City player dressed in a Blue Boutique dress looked eerily occupied as a muscular guy, another Park City player, dropped his pants below his knees to expose a spectacularly anatomically vulgar underwear while thrusting on and keeping-on-thrusting-on to the beat of some techno music indigenous only to liberated and upwardly hip Park City.

Pointing to the stocky guy’s thrusting crotch, the he/she blonde stuttered: “These are my trophies!”

“That’s team spirit!” gushed one defiant OM defender. “We can learn from Park City about positive reinforcement.”

While that OM defender would rather learn team spirit from the players of Park City, for Olympique Montreux, it was a game to forget.

“In my 12 years at OM, I have never seen an OM team play that badly, complained team manager Bel-Ami. “It was awful.”

The game started badly for Bel-Ami’s team, with players arriving late for an important final. The midfield was very poor. Extremely intimidated, the midfielders were unable to hold the ball, gifting it to their opponents at an alarming rate.

In the 12^th minute, the defense let a man through to point blank shoot down keeper Jaddon Rogers for Park City’s opening goal.

OM forward Isaac Saavedra quickly tied the game four minutes later.

However, with the midfield unable to hold on to the ball. The defense was busy indeed.

Forward Esteban Lecuona put the Olympians ahead in the 60th minute. It looked like things were getting back on tract and that the side could hold on to win the game.

Two events doomed the game for OM.

In the 77^th minute, the Olympians’ suffered a serious blow when midfielder Colton Spencer came out injured. His muscled work in the center of the midfield quickly was missed as Park City was able to resume pressuring the under performing midfielders.

To crown up the awful display, team Captain and designated playmaker Marcos Teba Morales who was rather ineffective in the game chose to vent his frustration in head-butting a Park City player and collecting an unnecessary yellow card. The ref was generous in nor ejecting Ivan.

Fearing the player’s legendary temper would soon merit a second yellow card if provoked in any manner by a Park City player; the manager had no choice but to pull him off the field.

“No way we could hold on with 10 men against an inspired Park City,” explained Bel-Ami.

The defense was holding fairly well until normally sure-handed keeper Jaddon Rogers, one of the best shot blockers in the state, made an uncharacteristic mistake that resulted in a goal to allow Park City to tie the game and send it into overtime and then penalty kicks.

Park City’s keeper was big in goal and won the PKs shootout for the snowmen. Park City scored their first three kicks. OM incredibly missed their first three.

“If anything was gained in that game, it is the revelation that defender Yuwei Nagato is a talent to promote. He was clearly Olympique Montreux’s best player and Super Olympian of the match, said Bel-Ami.